


Imagine: Meditation

by ReclessAbandon



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Cal Kestis - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Meditation, Oneshot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, cal kestis x reader, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23262916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReclessAbandon/pseuds/ReclessAbandon
Summary: You've been having trouble with meditation lately, Cal decides to offer you some help with that.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	Imagine: Meditation

The rays spill through the thin lines of the Mantis’s door, you bask in the mild sunlight after that harsh red one in Dathomir—no offense to Merrin, of course—Cere has been noticing your uneasiness during the trip.

“[y/n], are you all right?” Cere asked with nothing in her tone but concern.

“Yeah, I am…” you stammered. “I… I just want some time alone to meditate.”

“Of course, [y/n]. I understand.”

“Thanks.” You manage a smile at Cere before walking away from the Mantis.

As you trailed away from the ship, you looked around the horizon where you could hold your meditation.

Running around on this planet of rock platforms and plateaus was a good alternative to a training course. You knew that some of the best places for meditating are the ones way beyond human contact—the canyon, the lone columns of rock, the underground areas, and if you were brave enough, the mesa but that is definitely out of the list.

You went to the area where the rock formation resembled an outdoor amphitheater, you dealt with the vermin that inhabited it first. You sit on the center, settled yourself, and attempted to reach out.

“Come on, [y/n],” you mutter under your breath, encouraging yourself. “Come on…”

You sense a connection, but you don’t meet it. You struggle, again and again. Your attempt to reconnect with the Force is a hook that does not meet its ring, struggle any more and you will end up pulling it apart.

“I can’t.” You sigh in defeat.

Looking around, you presumed that you were surrounded by one too many distractions: the snoring Binog, the chittering Boglings, the snarling Bog Rats from the platform just below your position, and the whistling wind.

You make another run until you found the water hole past the Bogdo—you walk in and see the lone island with a single Bogling’s burrow. You started backing away to give yourself momentum if you wanted to land on the island without touching the water.

“Sorry, little one.” You apologize in advance.

Two strides from your lithe legs, you spring yourself from the ground and you propelled yourself to make a Jedi flip. You landed successfully, just mere centimeters away from the mouth of the burrow, where dust wafted around as the Bogling has thrown itself into the tunnel.

You sit down in front of the burrow, you flex your spine straight and relax your shoulders. The dripping water from the limestone’s moisture was almost melodic.

 _Perfect._ You think to yourself.

Fingers pat down on the damp grass and you try to find your connection with the Force, hoping that you can latch on to it. Deep breaths entered and escape your lungs, until you have deafened yourself from the sounds surrounding you. You felt close, you were almost thrilled, but you didn’t let yourself get carried away.

“Hold on to it,” you whispered, as if like a chant—it was something that your late master told you when they began teaching you meditation.

But something else intervened: a feeling of struggle and helplessness. The memory of you struggling and stumbling jabbed into your mind involuntarily. You lost your focus, snapping back into reality in a cold sweat, as if being pushed by a strong force by the chest. You look and see the Bogling staring at you with full black eyes.

“Sorry, little fella,” you said. “I’m not gonna hurt you, don’t worry.”

As another gesture of apology, you fished for something in your belt pouch. You hold a chestnut between your index finger and thumb. You show it to the Bogling whose ears pricked up and nose twitched profusely. You chuckle and patiently watched it crawl out of its hole while sniffing the chestnut from your hand.

It finally approached you and snatched the chestnut from your hand, nibbling ferociously while you sat there watching. It was done in a flash, it went up on you searching for more. You gave it another while petting it.

“I kinda envy you, little guy.” You blurted. “You have nothing to worry about except your babies, your nest, food, and yourself.”

You sighed and lied down on the grass while it snuggled on you, at least it comforted you when you felt disappointed with yourself.

“I wonder when I will ever be carefree like you, little one?”

From your upside-down vision, you saw a pair of boots walk up but stop at the mouth of the cave.

“Jedi don’t have it easy. Big difference from Boglings, huh?”

Cal.

* * *

You put down the Bogling and let it go back to its burrow. You turn to face Cal across the water.

“I can help you, if you like. I was about to meditate myself.”

“I’d like that very much, Cal.”

He leaps across the gap with ease, landing in a kneeling position in front of you, and quickly seats himself with legs crossed over one another.

“Look, I’ve noticed…” he trailed off. “That you’ve been struggling. Struggling to reconnect, to heal, and to feel again. It was the same for me, especially in Bracca, I almost lost myself there—who I truly am, a Jedi—because like you, my connection with the Force is scarred.”

He licks his lips, finding the right words to continue.

“I don’t know where to focus my thoughts on. Do I remember Master Tapal when he was alive—before the Purge? My childhood in the Jedi Temple with you—our laughter, our energy as kids? I honestly don’t know why I couldn’t go back to those feelings, until I met Cere and Greez, and then Merrin… and finally you. It’s like finding a missing piece to a puzzle.”

He shuffles closer to you.

“If you could… just have a little faith in me, I could help you. The same way these people did. Will you trust me, [y/n]?”

There was a silenced pause after he asked you. You saw the light glistened over his pure green eyes, the yearning kind of light, you felt his genuine desire to help you—because the darkness that you’re in is a familiar place to him.

You nodded and it was returned with a smile from him. Both of you positioned yourselves for meditation and he took the lead.

“Okay, just relax when you reach out. Try to empty your mind of memories and thoughts; listen to only the things around you.”

You only hear sounds at first. The dripping water from the limestone ceiling, the shifting earth from the Boglings burrowing, and the ripple that expands when the drop hits the water surface.

“Good. Baby steps. Now, what do you see?”

Images then flash in your head and then behind your closed eyelids. It started with the islet that you’re sitting on, gradually it grew to the rock walls of the cave you’re in, and then the whole planet. Due to your thrill of seeing the planet from a bird’s eye view through the Force, you lose your focus.

“Now, I get it,” Cal said. “It’s like you’re rushing into it. You know, like, impatient to see the bigger picture.”

“If you put it that way.” You agreed.

“I think I know how to help you now.” He extended his hands in front of you, palms open, inviting yours. “Give me your hands.”

You placed both of your hands on top of his, you never realized your hands were so small in comparison.

“Just have a little faith. Now, close your eyes.”

You did as you were told and then you felt something touch your forehead. It was his forehead. His red fringes have loosed from their place and tickled your brows as both of you meditated. Then, there it was. The feeling that you have been trying so hard to reach.

A warm feeling that makes you feel safe, one that makes you release all tension in your body. You saw yourself walking in a path of grass, leading to someplace that you haven’t figured out yet. The trance almost felt like an eternity, until you finally latched onto the very connection to the Force that you have been yearning for ever since you tried to heal.

“I saw it. I felt it!” You exclaimed with glee after going back to your conscious self in a jolt.

Cal shot back a smile at you, he was proud of you, he was so glad that he was able to help you.

“How did you do it?”

“Like I said, I healed along the way. I just figured that, maybe, you could heal in the same way as I did—even for just a bit.”

“Thank you, Cal. It really meant a lot.”

You tenderly embrace him as a gesture of thanks—you slipped your hands under his arms and put them on over his back. Your chin rests on his shoulder and you felt his fingers run through your hair.

“We’ll get through this, [y/n]. I’ll always be there to help. Neither of us are gonna be alone ever again.” He promised, hugging you back tightly.

You bit your lip as you fought back a single tear welling up in your eye. You love this new family of yours that you never want to remember the feeling of being alone.


End file.
